You'll Never Know Dear
by theshipperofallships
Summary: Ronald Knox has suffered an injury while working out in the field and William visits him in the infirmary


Ronald Knox let out a soft, small groan as he turned one run bed and squeezed his eyes shut for a moment. Carefully he took his hand and ran it across the wrapping on his arm, wincing slightly as he squeezed his eyes shut again. He never expected that he would get hurt during work, he knew he could but he never knew it would hurt so badly. Softly he hid in the thin sheet of the infirmary bed blanket. He officially hated the infirmary. The nurse who helped him was so rude and very hostile. He just wanted William, really. No one else but William. He had had Eric Slingby come with Alan Humphries to check in on him, they made him feel less lonely but he really did want to talk to William. Grell Sutcliff, one of his trainers, had stopped by as well and talked to him for a while then left to get his hair done. Since then Ronald had been alone in agony, longing for William. He squeezed his eyes shut again as he reached over and pressed the small button that called for a nurse. The pain was starting to become unbearable as it did when he first arrived in the infirmary. The door opened and Ronald opened his green eyes only to find William slowly walking in. Quickly Ronald sat up, quickly being reminded of his pain though once he did. He let out a loud groan as he layer back down on the bed, squeezing his eyes shut as he did. William's eyes widened slightly before he rushed over to the bedside and took Ronald's free hand, concern in his green-yellow eyes.

"Ronald, darling.." He breathed. Ronald gripped tightly onto William's hand before he slowly opened his eyes and looked up at William. William carefully reached out before he softly pushed up the glasses on the younger Reaper's face.

"Where've you been?" Ronald asked softly before he looked away, trying his best to avoid William's gaze. He had felt so lonely the previous days without William but suddenly he wanted to shrink into his blankets and get rid of that concerned look in William's eyes. But he didn't want the raven haired Reaper to leave, he just didn't want him to look as concerned.

"I've been having to do some paperwork." He said softly. "I was going to come see you last night but I got stuck with overtime." Ronald nodded, biting his lip as he continued to look down. William cocked his head slightly, noticing how Ronald wouldn't look at him. "Is something wrong?" Ronald shook his head. The other gave a slight smile as he lifted Ronald's chin with his index finger and thumb, finally making eye contact with the blonde. "Ronald, dear, please tell me. I worry about you.." Ronald cringed slightly, feeling a sudden pain in his arm and in his heart.

"That's just it…" He mustered out past a groan. "I don't want you to worry about—" Ronald cut himself short, the agony becoming worse. "Where's that bloody nurse?" He cried as he pushed the button next to his bed again.

William squeezed Ronald's hand softly before a bright haired nurse came in, shaking on her gum, and politely asked William to leave before she paged a doctor. William gave a longing look to his lover before he walked out of the room, his heart hurting from seeing Ronald in such pain. He sighed and sat outside of the room, guilt setting in on him. William should've been more careful, then Ronald wouldn't have been in the infirmary. _I should've been the one who got that nasty burn…_ he thought as he squeezed hid eyes shut. _Not poor little Ronald._ William sighed and shook his head. It was his fault, he shouldn't have taken Ronald on that case that he knew was dangerous. He should've ignored Ronald's begging and told him to stay at the office. He sighed again as he stood up and began to pace outside of the infirmary room. He let Ronald get hurt. He cringed. That thought made him sick but it kept ringing in his ming. _You let Ronald get hurt, you let him get hurt!_ William groaned and ran a hand through his hair He didn't even know how bad the burns were. He wasn't even told. He closed his eyes for a moment and took in a long, deep breath as he sat back down and tried to relax. Hours passed and as they did William couldn't seem to hate himself more. Ronald could've died out there and it was all because of him.

"Mr. Spears?" William looked up suddenly. There was the doctor, the bright haired nurse standing behind him, staring down at him. Quickly William stood up.

"Yes?"

"He'll be waking up shortly. If he experiences that pain again then page us and we'll be here as soon as possible."

"Doctor how bad are the burns?" The doctor sighed and shook his head.

"Worse than a regular burn, worse than a third degree burn. It was amazing that he was able to withstand the pain, but it isn't just burns under there. He had to had quite a few stitched on his arm. but don't worry, he should heal." William's heart sunk. Worse than third degree? Stitches? He felt so bad, how could he have done that to poor Ronald?

"Thank you…" He murmured before the doctor and nurse walked away. William stood in front of the blank, white infirmary door and stared at it. Ronald would be on the other side, sleeping hopefully but nonetheless in agony. He couldn't bear that thought. He squeezed his eyes shut before he reached over and opened the floor. There was Ronald, curled up in bed, as he expected. Slowly the Reaper walked over to his unconscious lover as he leaned down and ran a hand through Ronald's dual colored hair. "Ronald…" He whispered, tears brimming in his eyes. "Fuck, I am so sorry. I should have made you stay at the office then this wouldn't have happened…" Carefully he leaned his head against Ronald's chest and let the tears leak from his eyes. "You could've died… This is all my fault, my poor darling Ronald."

"Ooh~" William looked up only to see his crimson haired colleague, also Ronald's Senpai, standing in the doorway. "I didn't realize you could cry, Willy?"

"What're you doing here?" He sighed, pushing up big glasses as Grell walked further into the room.

"I came to check on darling Ronald!" William rolled his eyes, getting only slightly jealous upon hearing him call Ronald darling. Ronald was his and not Grell's.

"Well I'm here so you can leave."

"Now now Willy!" He grinned. "I'd like to know what you were getting so emotional about." William tensed up slightly.

"Go away."

"Not until you tell me." William sighed.

"Sutcliff, go away or you'll receive overtime." Grell smiled, wagging his rear slightly.

"Oh, I wouldn't mind if I got the chance to hear why William, my boss, was getting so teary eyed." William shook his head.

"Shutup, you're going to wake him up." He said as he carefully pushed some hair from Ronald's eyes. Grell watched the two, his smile slowly fading as he realized that he shouldn't have been teasing William like that. Slowly he stepped closer to the chair that William was sitting in and carefully kneeled down knelt next to him.

"Will…" He said softly. "You think…. This is your fault, don't you?" William tensed up upon hearing the question. He didn't want to admit anything to that flame haired Reaper and he would try his hardest to keep everything hidden under wraps. He didn't want the other Reaper to know how he felt. Grell cocked his head of bright red and carefully took one of William's gloved hands in his. "It isn't your fault. It couldn't have been helped." William remained silent, staring at Ronald.

"It's my fault. It could've been helped but it wasn't. It's my fault. Don't try to convince me that it isn't." Grell pulled away slightly and looked at William. Of all of the things he could've blamed himself for he blamed himself for something that really wasn't his fault. The crimson cloaked Reaper pulled his hand from William's and slowly stood up.

"Call me when he wakes up.."

~*~  
When Ronald's green eyes fluttered open he was surprised to find that the pain in his arm was gone. He was even more surprised to see William asleep at his bedside. He smiled slightly as he carefully reached out and caressed William's cheek with his hand. William sighed sleepily, nuzzling Ronald's hand as he opened his eyes slowly. He pushed up his glasses and looked at Ronald sleepily but lovingly. Ronald blushed before he gave a small smile and pulled his hand away only to have it gently pulled back by William. Carefully he gave a small kiss to the palm of the dual haired Reaper's hand.

"Finally, you're awake…" William whispered. Ronald smiled and giggled softly as he reached over and grabbed his glasses before carefully slipping them on.

"How long was I out?"

"Well, they said you would be awake by five but it's twelve." Ronald sighed as he looked up at William.

"I was tired I guess."

"It does seem so." Ronald paused for a moment as he stared up at his older lover before he slowly opened his mouth to sleep.

"You've been crying.." He stated softly. William blinked a few times, suddenly becoming expressionless.

"No I haven't."

"Will," he said gently as he carefully sat up and slipped off William's glasses. "Your eyes are puffy and watery and red. Why've you been crying?" He asked before he put William's glass back on. The raven haired Reaper looked down, the gentle and concerned tone in Ronald's voice was enough to drive him crazy.

"It's my fault that this has happened to you, Ronald. If I had just made you stay at the office you wouldn't have gotten burned like this, you wouldn't be here." Tears sting at William's eyes again, threatening to leak out them. "It should've been me and not you. It should've been me." Ronald's green eyes widened. Did William really think it was his fault? Carefully he shuffled over to the edge of the bed and wrapped his arm around William in a small embrace.

"Will…" He whispered, his heart hurting slightly from seeing him so torn up. "It wasn't your fault. I was the one who begged to go, I was the one who was being mindless and careless, I should've been more aware of my surroundings, I shouldn't have even asked to go." William bit his lip as he wrapped his arms around Ronald and hugged onto him tightly but carefully. The younger Reaper rubbed his lovers back as he shivered slightly before sobs raked through his body.

"I'm so sorry…" He choked out past his sobs. "Oh god, I am so so sorr—"

"William," Ronald cooed. "Calm down. Shh, it's not like I'm irreparable. Shhh." William sighed past his tears as he slowly pulled away from Ronald and looked into the Reaper's eyes. Carefully he reached out and slipped off his glasses before pressing his lips to Ronald's in a strong, passionate kiss. Ronald gasped softly before he gently kissed back and ran a hand through William's dark hair. The two became one just through a kiss, a kiss that they never wanted to end but unfortunately had to.

"Ronald…" William breathed softly. "I love you. I know I don't say it often, but I do." Ronald smiled a she shifted in his bed, patting the place next to him.

"I love you even more, Boss."


End file.
